Today I got the news that I've been fighting for since February. Humira approved my financial aid and will cover my injections!!!
HALLELUJAH. (I feel like belting out that song from The Sister Act 2... except I could never hit that high note!)
I almost didn't believe my mom when she called to tell me. I've been feeling so sick for so long that I had honestly started to lose any hope of getting better. But now I've got a chance! I know there's the possibility that it won't work or I'll react badly, but I'm more than willing to take that risk in the hopes of not just feeling better, but healing.
I tell ya, having a chronic illness like this gets in your head sometimes. You wonder, "Will I ever get better? What if we can't find a medicine that works? Am I a failure for not being able to do what others do?" It is a constant fight with my own head to stay positive and not feel like a burden to my friends and family. I know I take a lot of their time and energy with the care I need, and not being able to help out around the house much or do anything with or for them weighs on my conscience.
But at that point I know I've got to realize that it's not my fault I have this disease. I didn't ask for it and I sure as heck would never choose it, but it's here and I have to live with it. Sure, it means making changes and realigning my goals with my capabilities, but that doesn't mean my life has to be boring or unimportant. I can live each day for that day, love and cherish my time with family and friends, and let the future come one day at a time. No sense in worrying about things you can't change.
As always, stay awesome my lovelies!
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